Anonymous said: Hey hey friend. So I've been doing lots of exercise and like healthy eating (not the norm for me sometimes). But idk I feel bad because I know that society wants me to lose weight and I don't want to have to do that to feel better... But I do feel like I'll feel better being more in shape/healthier and I think maybe weight loss will be a side effect of that? I just feel a little guilty. (Ps part of the reason I want to be more in shape is to make my upcoming sport season easier on me)
You don’t have to explain yourself to me or anyone else. There is absolutely nothing wrong with deciding that you want to make a body change. Some people want to gain weight, some people want to lose. It’s your body and you’re allowed to do with it what you so please!! I know that some body positive spaces are anti-weight loss, but I think that it’s hypocritical to be accepting of weight gain and not loss. My opinion is that as long as it’s a personal choice and you don’t feel like you’re being bullied into it by society, then it’s a completely healthy decision!
Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about your choices! You are allowed to experiment. Trial and error will help you figure out what your ideal body shape is! I’ve actually lost a bit of weight this month thanks to my love of vegetable curries, (and lack of funds to buy obnoxious amounts of junk food, lawl,) and I’m discovering that I definitely have a sweet spot! My highest weight was around 270, my lowest in memory was being in the 220’s years ago. I am currently around 240. (It might be closer to 250 or something, though. I’m pretty sure my current scale is broken.) I find that around there my hips looks really wide and my waist looks really small, and it’s basically my favorite thing. (But that’s just my personal preference, I don’t actually believe any body type is better than another.)
It’s late, so I hope that wasn’t too ranty, but you shouldn’t feel bad!! You can do whatever you want to, and you don’t have to make excuses. If you want to lose weight just because you want to lose weight, that’s completely okay! Sometimes it’s fun to challenge yourself and see what comes of a new body adventure. Don’t let your size become the most important or most interesting thing about you. Don’t let your body define you. Don’t assume that your life is going to change dramatically just because your body does. I don’t think bodily changes are nearly as big a deal as out society likes to make them.
So, if you want to lose weight, that’s okay! If you want to gain weight, that’s okay! If you want to stay the same forever, that’s okay! If you want a 6 pack, or a giant belly, or whatever else, all of those things are okay! You are going to be beautiful no matter what you choose. The biggest issue is that you remain true to yourself, and don’t spend time obsessing over things you consider to be negatives. If you love yourself throughout your entire journey, it’s guaranteed to be a wonderful experience!
Someone has hurt your feelings. They’ve said something awful that you just can’t seem to forget. You keep telling yourself that it doesn’t matter, but deep down you wonder if it’s true…if it didn’t have some merit, they wouldn’t have said it, right?
Now, I need you to look here. Right here. Go on, focus. Concentrate. Good. I’m going to show you something, just relax I promise this won’t hurt a bit.
You are a wonderful human being. You are important to the world, and we wouldn’t be the same without you. You are beautiful. That beauty isn’t earned or bought, but has been with you since birth and is inherent to your being. You can achieve anything you desire.
You are loved.
Now go get em, tiger.
im-still-theoptimist said: Do you ever get criticism for your weight from strangers or vague acquaintances, and do you have any tips on how to not let it bother you? A few days ago my best friend's (very old) grandpa told me I "need to go running", and I just can't get that comment out of my head. I don't even know him that well, but he still felt it was okay to comment on my weight. Now it seems like no amount of body positivity or self love can stop what he said from invading my thoughts. Do you have any advice?
For the most part, I just let them sort of roll off. In order for me to be offended by something, I have to believe that it has merit. Frankly, I’m so sure that I’m fabulous that there’s nothing anyone can say that would change my mind.
Since dude is really old, let’s just assume that his eyes don’t work very well. Clearly, he doesn’t know what he’s looking at because you’re a damn bombshell. (And honestly, old people notorious for saying rude shit simply because they’re so old that they can get away with it. We always want to suggest that outrageous beauty standards are something that plagues our generation exclusively, but that is clearly not the case.)
Recently a man tried to tell me that I would be perfect if my stomach was flat. (He also followed that up with some bs about wanting to marry me.) I was just like:
You get to choose what your definition of beauty is going to be. It can be as inclusive or exclusive as you’d like, but no matter what you’re never going to fit everyone’s standard of beauty. There will always be people that try to bring you down, but know that they’re usually coming from a place of insecurity and/or flat out ignorance. I hear all of the negativity loud and clear, but I truly believe that life is what you make it. And I make this look good.
As far as coping goes, my #1 rule to live by is: Don’t get mad, get cute. That might not work for everyone, but I often throw on my favorite outfit and remind myself that I’m the Queen when I’m having a bad day. (There are usually selfies.) Do something that makes you feel good! No matter how you decide to cope, the best thing that you can do is let go of the negative stuff, even if that means literally writing it down and then burning it, turning negative thoughts/comments into art, or just talking them out like we are now.
Remember that you’re beautiful, and try to surround yourself with people that honestly believe that about you. If you don’t think that you have any of those, come talk to me because I think you’re stunning and won’t be shy about saying so.
Take the good and forget the rest! You are wonderful!
That last post was a result of a guy asking me for nudes, then trying to suggest that I was a hypocrite because I post bikini pictures, but didn’t want to show him my vagina. He then had the audacity to suggest that I should expect to be asked for nudes if I’m going to post those types of photos because it “comes with the territory.”
No, dick lick, it doesn’t. If that’s the case, every guy that posts a photo with his shirt off is just begging to send me a dick pic. And he should expect to be treated like a piece of meat because hey, he’s asking for it. He shouldn’t take his shirt off if he doesn’t want me to use him as masturbation fodder, because men exist solely for my sexual gratification. In fact, the next time I see a man with his shirt off in public, I’ll just ask him to take his pants off and show me his penis, because clearly that’s he message he’s trying to send.
That no matter how many bikini underwear cutie pie sexy face pictures I post, I am under no obligation to show you any damn thing. Just because I like wearing two pieces doesn’t mean you get to see my vagina. THOSE THINGS ARE NOT RELATED. Fat bodies are not fetish objects. Exposed fat bodes are not hyper-sexual. My smilie happy self love photos are not pornography. If you consider them such, you’re probably a sociopath.
Anonymous said: I just wanted to say Hi, and to tell you that you're breathtakingly gorgeous. Sorry for bothering you, have a fabulous day!
That is in no way bothersome!! Thank you very much!! <3